that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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