I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The air was thick with penises
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
