Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
