She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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