this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
