you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
