he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
