Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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