non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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