i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
