i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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