I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
