Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Your cock deserves a montage
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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