He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
