end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
