That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
