Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
