I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
