i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
