Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
