She is in my trunk
Your tits are I can't wait for
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
