And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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