I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
