eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
