Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
