Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
