So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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