she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
foreskin is a definite game changer
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
