I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
