I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
