i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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