weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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