I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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