i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
