I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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