I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
