I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
