I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
