you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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