I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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