Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
