Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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