Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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