Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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