The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
