I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
