Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
