I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
