dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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