you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
