I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
