What a fucking waste of an outfit
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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