She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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